The Final Countdown...
We are now at 17 hours, and counting..
(Unless you are Eric, then you are at only 5 and a half hours because you are counting down until when you leave your home, not when you arrive.)
But, since the majority of us are not Eric, we are at approximately 17 hours. Tick.. tock... tick .... tock...
I don't know if any of this has really set in as being reality yet. I keep thinking about the English institute that he is going to be attending, next door to the Empire State Building. I think about that area, then I think about Eric. I try to mesh the two thoughts into one and picture Eric walking around near the Empire State Building and I just can't do it. I've had a few different moments where I sit here on my couch and try to imagine what it would be like to have him sitting over there
----------------------------->
on my couch also. Can't do it. So, I will have to just wait and experience it. And, I don't have very long to wait. I remember in that movie "Fallen" with Denzel Washington (the movie where the people always are singing "Time... is on my side...") the narrator says that there are points in your life where you know if you go forward something big is going to happen and to change. I feel like that now. CS Lewis says that every little decision that we make pushes us in some direction. Obviously, some events more obviously steer us or redirect our lives. Tomorrow, with Eric arriving here, will really make my life quite different from last spring (combined with the new job, new car, new roommate, and no college), drastically changed from 3 years ago (when I was still in college), and not recognizable from 6 years ago. From here, decisions become "we" decisions instead of "I" decisions. I am thinking about two people for the holidays, instead of just myself, not committing myself to activities or work things because I dont know Eric's schedule yet.... It is like you lose a little of yourself so that you can gain everything that the other person brings to the relationship.
So, with all that said... to answer the real pressing question for anyone who knows me well... I havent totally cleaned my apartment. It's a lot better, but not perfect. I will do some more sprucing tomorrow before I go to the airport. Now... sleep.
(Unless you are Eric, then you are at only 5 and a half hours because you are counting down until when you leave your home, not when you arrive.)
But, since the majority of us are not Eric, we are at approximately 17 hours. Tick.. tock... tick .... tock...
I don't know if any of this has really set in as being reality yet. I keep thinking about the English institute that he is going to be attending, next door to the Empire State Building. I think about that area, then I think about Eric. I try to mesh the two thoughts into one and picture Eric walking around near the Empire State Building and I just can't do it. I've had a few different moments where I sit here on my couch and try to imagine what it would be like to have him sitting over there
----------------------------->
on my couch also. Can't do it. So, I will have to just wait and experience it. And, I don't have very long to wait. I remember in that movie "Fallen" with Denzel Washington (the movie where the people always are singing "Time... is on my side...") the narrator says that there are points in your life where you know if you go forward something big is going to happen and to change. I feel like that now. CS Lewis says that every little decision that we make pushes us in some direction. Obviously, some events more obviously steer us or redirect our lives. Tomorrow, with Eric arriving here, will really make my life quite different from last spring (combined with the new job, new car, new roommate, and no college), drastically changed from 3 years ago (when I was still in college), and not recognizable from 6 years ago. From here, decisions become "we" decisions instead of "I" decisions. I am thinking about two people for the holidays, instead of just myself, not committing myself to activities or work things because I dont know Eric's schedule yet.... It is like you lose a little of yourself so that you can gain everything that the other person brings to the relationship.
So, with all that said... to answer the real pressing question for anyone who knows me well... I havent totally cleaned my apartment. It's a lot better, but not perfect. I will do some more sprucing tomorrow before I go to the airport. Now... sleep.
posted by Jennifer Q @ 12:35 AM
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